FINDING BALANCE!!!!

My brother and I, when in school, we had this lady who used to walk us to school and back home every day (school was just 5 blocks away). The lady (I don't remember her name) had strict instructions from my mom that she would not let go our hands till we get to our destination (this was due to traffic etc). I would let myself of her hook and walk on the pavement edge (She used to yell at me to stay close to her). I liked it when I did the little balancing thing on the pavement edge. My little feet would slip off and I would get back on the edge again. I did that every day to and from School. I was 8 and my brother must have been 5 or something. I don't remember when i stopped slipping of the pavement edge but I always liked to do that little dance on my way. Subconsciously sometimes even now, I do walk on the pavement edge balancing myself for fun. How I wish, I found that balance in life subconsciously? Well...life is all about balancing, isn't it?

Last night, my friends and I decided to watch this movie 'Eat Pray Love'. After a stressful day, we were still debating if we should go for this late night movie (10:15pm, it was just couple blocks away and NYC is always busy). Anyways, we decide we would go and if its too much, we will sleep it off through the movie.

I felt the movie was slow at the beginning but Julia Roberts has done a great job. Its a very well taken movie. Gist - She, like any other human being, is trying to strike a balance in her life with what she has to do, likes to do and whom does she really love etc. She gives up everything goes around the world, in the process meets different people, culture etc. Finally, she is able to strike a balance in her life. The movie was not about traveling around the world to find what you want but I feel, it was all about balancing ones life.

How many of us are in a relationship because we just got there or because we have to keep up with it or keep doing stuff just because everyone else is doing or because you have to be there for these people or this job etc etc etc...'is this really what I want to do?' is what one should ask.

All of us are in search of something and we name it as 'Happiness' (search is on constantly for...maybe LOVE, MONEY, JOB, CHANGE, PASSION, AMBITION etc etc). We postpone our happiness, saying I will be happy if I had this or that etc. Can anyone define happiness? Happiness is different to different people. But, do we strike a balance with each other and accept that happiness of others?....

The movie ends with a beautiful quote,"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life".

FRIENDS!!!! my wonderful friends.....

“It’s all in the perspective of how we see everything…good or bad”

This is a wonderful url I came across and reminds me of my life and hence sharing some of my experiences that exactly match to these...

http://lifestyle.in.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3944426&page=0

[read the article in the url and then read my post]

(The article has listed Service Providers in a very selfish way... but I wasn't selfish when I reached out to people. My comments, my concern or anything that I did, was with uttermost sincerity)...

Service Provider No.1 - Doorman 'Willy' in NYC -

Willy, late 40s Afro-American, was a doorman at my apartment building in NYC. I lived in this building for 2years. He always opened the cab door for me, helped me swing the revolving door during winters (they get tight), lend me umbrellas when I forgot mine and stood at the door with a sad face. Helped me move my stuff from apartment to apartment (I moved 3 apartments in the same building in 2yrs), helped me open my apartment when I forgot my keys (atleast once every week). Willy was there when I needed him.... In turn, I always made sure I treated him with respect, got him cake once in a while, tipped him once in a while, got him lottery tickets for Christmas (not sure if he won any), sometimes starbuck's gift cards and a hug when I was leaving the place.

Service provider no 2 - we called her Aunty (her name was Seema) and this was when I worked for Satyam Hyderabad and lived there for 2yrs.

Seema Aunty, a Marwari woman, cooked lunch at her house for Satyam Employees (Her house was close to Satyam office and she being a house wife started this lunch business). She was very organized, made only vegetarian Marwari food, was awesome cook and did everything by herself (Her husband worked as a accountant in a small firm and her Two brilliant kids went to IIT Mumbai and Warangal REC). She had atleast 20 to 25 people for lunch and the lunch met six sigma standards I must say. My rented place was one block away from my work place and Seema Aunt’s house. I was introduced to her by a colleague and then on I had my lunch almost every day at her place. Some times I used to be there a bit early and instead of just sitting and waiting...I would step in to her kitchen and help. She liked it and those conversations while I had my lunch. She helped me get a gas cylinder, helped me with my cooking skills... we went shopping, temple, morning walks, dinners .... Uncle (her husband), used to tell me stories from his work place etc. He used to help me with other outdoor stuff like finding an electrician, mechanic for my Scooty, cable guy, internet, phone etc. Mutually, I tried to be there for them when they needed me. Helped them with their internet skills (to talk/chat with their kids. Kids were proud that their parents learnt using internet), rented movies for them, accompanied them to their doctor etc. They also met my parents when they visited me in Hyd. This was in 2004 and they have now moved from Hyd to Jaipur. They keep in touch and ring me up occasionally.....

Service Provider no 3 - Mr. Matt, a British who shuttles between NY (work) and London (family) lived in the same building as I did in NYC.

Mr. Matt, a Brit, mid 50s lived in NY for work. Looks very Brit, spoke Brit (of course) slim, in suit and tie. He worked at NY stock exchange and lived in the same building as I, but every 2 weeks he visited his family in London.

So, how did I meet Mr. Matt? On one snowy day, I walked out of my apartment building to get a cab, I saw Mr. Matt waiting for a cab. So, I stood behind him (since he was there first). Willy, the doorman, asked me, ‘Yellow cab or Black cab... “. I said yellow (black cabs were expensive). Mr. Matt looked at me said,’ Good Morning’. I wished him back and we waited. A black cab pulled over and Mr. Matt walked up to the cab...then looked back and asked me if I wanted to share a cab with him. I said ok and got in.

My stop was just few blocks away... so, Mr. Matt asked me where I wanted to get off and told the driver. Then he asked me where I was from and what am I doing in NY etc. After I gave him my intro, it was his turn. He told about himself and then when he learnt that I lived/worked in London for a year, he was happy and started asking me if I visited this place ..that place etc etc. He told me his fav place was Paris and asked me if I had ever done the Euro-Rail trip (I hadn't..Ya! I know..). He had taken his girlfriend (now his wife) for lunch to Paris by Euro-Rail one day..(Just for Lunch? that was awesome…I thought). He said I must do that trip once atleast and talked about how much he likes the Euro-Rail etc etc. All this talk was during this 10min ride to my workplace. The cab pulled over and I got off, thanked him for the ride. He said. ‘will see you at the apartment building someday…have a good day!’. He was going to London that day... ...and I did not see him again….

These were few interesting people I could relate in the same sequence when I read the article from the above URL.... there are many such wonderful people that I have come across. So far it’s been all good experiences with all these wonderful people (touch wood!!!!!)……

IS THIS ALL ABOUT MY BAGS??? LOL!!

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Sometimes its amazes the kind of people I meet... and the series of episodes that happen in couple hours. I can only ..simply.. stop ...absorb and observe.....

It was 7pm when I collected my bags at Phily airport. I was still debating if I should take the train or take the taxi into downtown.  I was coming from Pittsburg (it was a long work week for me) into Phily to take the train to NYC. I was so looking forward for this weekend and was too excited / happy that evening.. I was going to NYC after a month and meeting my friends for the weekend.

 Finally, I decided I will take the taxi and collect my bags that I had left at the Mariott Courtyard the previous weekend I stayed in Phily (ya, I am on a project that requires lot of travel and I am living out of suitcases...home for me is Bangalore.). So, waved for a cab... a white cab stopped and a short sardarji (maybe in his late 30s) got off and opened the cab door for me (this was unusual). I told him I wanted to go to the city centre Marriott Courtyard to collect my bags and then to Amtrak station. It was 20min ride to Phily downtown, I had grabbed a Twix (was hungry) at the airport and chewed into it while i checked my messages on my phone. It was a quite ride with lot of silence. When we entered into the city I looked out to admire Phily downtown and saw we were nearing to city center. I realised I had asked for two destinations.. one to the hotel first and then to continue to the Train station. I thought it would be fair to start a fresh fair after we picked the bags at the hotel (usually any destination from airport into downtown was a flat rate). So, as he stopped by the hotel. I told him I will only take 5mins to grab my bags that I had parked in the hotel so, he can charge for this journey and start a new one for going to the train station (anyone else, I am sure, would have agreed for this deal). But he said, no Madam...its alright its hardly 8 or 9$ ..don't worry we will continue with the same meter. I was surprised and insisted again, but he did not agree. I went in got my bags and he quickly helped me board the bags. We reached the Train Terminal and I (ofcourse) paid him his extra fare (that I would have normaly paid) in the form of tip. He offloaded my bags and was too concerned about the fact that I was alone with lot of bags and no help. So, he asked me wait at the taxi, while he went in and got some guy to help me. By the time I thanked him for his help; he wished me 'safe journey' and disappeared into the pool of taxis.

I then followed the guy who was helping me with my bags. He was a young African American guy. He quickly got a big luggage cart and loaded all three bags. He took me to a helpdesk counter called 'Red Hat Service'. He asked me to wait there and someone with a 'Red Hat' will come help me load the bags into the train. I said I need to get a ticket and asked him if he can stand by my bags. He obliged while I went and got my ticket. I thanked him and took out a few dollars to tip him. He politely said no with a smile and went back on his duty. I stood there looking at him walk by till I was interrupted by the 'Red Hat' guy. The 'RedHat' guy was short middle aged Italian...he had think accent and always smiled. He looked at my bags..raised eyebrows but said don't worry, we will make sure this is taken care till you get a taxi in NYC (that was such a relief). He hit up a conversation with me while he put up tags on my bags. When I said I was basically from India...his face lit up, started talking about his liking for Ayurvedic Medicines etc etc. Then he said his grandfather was from Italy, who moved to America in his teenage..etc etc. In that 15mins of time….he spoke so many things, told me about his daughter, spoke about today’s youth, about eating healthy, abt ayurvedic medicines (again). At the end he made quite a statement, he said - 'I do not understand why everyone living here are so possessive about this country. This country does not belong to any one person. Everyone has come from some or the other place. So then why can not every one live happily'.  My train arrived; he boarded all my bags and showed me to my seat. This time I made sure this guy (atleast) accepted the tip. He gave a big wide smile and said it was nice talking to me.

It was a 1hr ride into NYC, I sat there reading this novel that I picked up at the Pittsburg Airport (haven’t finished yet but its keeping me hooked on to it. Its called ‘That Hour I First Believed’). When I got to NY Penn station, (as the Italian ‘Red Hat’ guy promised that my bags will be taken care… yes it was indeed) there was another ‘Red Hat’ guy in NY was waiting at the Train for me. He came in asked for my last name and boarded my bags on to his cart .. asked me ‘Taxi?’, I said ‘Yes’ and he said ‘Follow me’. That’s it… I just followed him to the street and he waved for a taxi that stopped, boarded all my luggage, stood there fiddling with my bags (waiting for the tip actually). I took out few dollars, politely said thank you and gave him a smile. He just took the money and left (not sure if he even noticed my smile). 

Well! what am i saying...? now this is NYC… no one has time for such things here...

ALTERATION !!!

"Lucky chengs..is the place I wanna go"....says my Manager standing at my office door. I was like "ya sure...but, what is it??" ....my manager, 'its a place where you will see 6ft tall women entertaining you...' . I asked him, 'are you sure...?? should we go ahead and book a table ...'. He walked away saying 'ya, Mareen is doing the honors...' and we 15 of us landed at this place (it was my manager's send off party and he got to choose where he wanted to go).

'Lucky Chengs' was way downtown (1Ave/2st) NYC and the place looked very shady. My manager and couple more were excited....and rest of us had no idea (atleast me) what this place was like. The place was dimly lit.. and there was nobody yet (it was only 7pm)...we stood near the bar while they checked our IDs and let us order our drinks. Then I suddenly saw something unsual at the bar..the bar attendant was a Drag Queen (A drag queen, usually a man, who dresses, and usually acts, like a women for the purpose of entertaining or performing)...so this place was a drag queen show place. Some of us looked at each other and just continued with the flow. With a little unease I was trying to smile and look away...(this was ofcourse my first time at a place like this).

Our table was set and we all settled in.... the food was a set menu...so the food was served faster (food was not so great though). People started coming in and other tables started filling up. I was still at unease and sat there thinking of an excuse to leave the place early. But then the show started. One of the Drag Queens started talking from behind the scene. Then she (i would like to address as she) came over introduced herself saying she was from Singapore...loves NYC and its been a decade since she moved here(she talked abt her family and how she was distanced because her parents were worried abt the soceity etc). Then she introduced her 2 business partners who run this place along with her. They briefly gave an introduction of how they run the restaurant and they were very grateful to have all of us over to see their show. There were 3 Drag Queens and they were the staff, cooks, business partners ...everything there. All the three performed and then the last step was to call on 2 people from each table and do a performance (two of my colleagues got up). My manager was a happy little kid at the end and we all walked out thanking them for their wonderful show.

I was a bit taken back to see these people so closely and to know their life. I was ashamed of myself for being so ignorant and unaware. They are humans too...if they are not normal its not their fault isn't it or I should say they are normal as per them and we are normal as per us. So, we have no right to say anything. They were such great people I must say....very humble, very human.

I definitely walked out with a different perspective towards life... there is so much beyond our daily lives ...there is so much beyond our career..our own family...our own problems..etc etc..

A small alteration in our own brain takes us a long way...